The Sevens Have It

It’s Monday night, so get out your dancing shoes and get ready for Dancing with the Stars.  First up, Jake and Chelsie.  They look great out of the gate.  He even had a quasi-sexy presence that caught my attention.  Which is kind of gross when he is probably my son’s age.   Once again, however, Jake trips over his own feet.  At some point during the dance each week he trips.  My guess is that by the end of the season they will wind up on the floor at least once.  Chelsea seems to have that kind of luck with her partners.  Remember when Louie Van Skater-Dude dropped her on her behind?  Poor girl.  

Next up Evan and Anna did a gorgeous looking dance.  She looked cute in her white outfit, and Evan was all grace:  long beautiful arms, stunning lines.  The only problem was the judges said it was not the samba it was supposed to be.  Who knew?  I was captivated.  That is the fascinating part about watching shows like this.  I don’t know a proper samba from a hole in the wall.  I just know what looks pretty to me.  I voted for them anyway.  Anyone who suffers a mild concussion in rehearsal gets a pass from me.  One last observation:  he is the most polite contestant ever.  He smiles in the face of criticism to the point where I sometimes wonder if there is anybody in there.  Not even his eyes change.  It’s probably his Olympic training, but I must confess sometimes my favorite contestant creeps me out a little bit with his mechanical demeanor. 

 Niecy looked beautiful for her tango in a black sparkly dress, the best she has looked all season.  Alas, the “jiggly parts” and food jokes have run their course.  The beauty of their dance was overshadowed by the same old shtick.  It’s not that I don’t have a sense of humor.  I do.  But as much as I enjoyed her at first, it’s time for Niecy to take her jiggly parts home and get off my last nerve.  When Louie is reduced to stuffing cookies in his mouth during an Argentine Tango, something ain”t right.

Ah, Erin and Maks.  What a pretty couple they make.  I don’t buy the internet rumors that they are dating.  I think it’s designed to drum up votes, not that they don’t deserve votes anyway.  Or maybe it’s because they look and act so natural together that we just want them to be a couple.  I thought the best part of their samba was Erin’s unbelievable purple costume.  Most beautiful dress of the evening.  Len yelled at them again, and as much as I enjoy seeing Maks without his shirt I definitely think it’s a bit of a gimmick designed to dazzle.  It does.  I read that in an interview with Ryan Seacrest, after the show, Maks basically said Len was too old to be judging the show.  You gotta admire a guy who says what’s on his mind.  I personally liked their Pulp Fiction inspired jive on last week’s Movie Night better.  

Chad and Cheryl did a steamy Argentine Tango.  I think Cheryl has an amazing ability to make the hot dances look hotter.  Their performance was ruined for me by the video that preceded it.  Chad was complaining that the judges have been hard on him for some unknown reason.  Maybe it was your dancing, Chad?  This whine fest was followed by a scene with numerous fans at some unnamed function shouting that Chad is the best dancer.  No he’s not.  Some of these young athletes come to expect that everyone is going to put them on a pedestal.  They are special and different and treated accordingly everywhere they go.  Len, Bruno, and Carrie Ann didn’t get the memo. 

I guess Derek and Nicole’s samba was everything it was supposed to be.  Derek is my favorite pro.  I think he is an amazing dancer, and the best choreographer on the show.  Nicole is a great dancer and a stunning beauty, but there is something about this pairing that leaves me cold.  I haven’t put my finger on it yet.  Maybe I’m just jealous because they often out-dance my favorite, Evan.

The final couple, Pamela and Damien, appeared ready for their Argentine Tango.  As I said, I don’t know the technicalities of these dances, but her legs and feet definitely didn’t look sharp enough.  I think this is the first week she didn’t really dance well.  Maybe it was the scary 1960’s Sophia Loren wig.  Ugh!  They were the fourth couple of the night to earn three sevens.  She is not a crowd favorite based on previous result nights and may go home, but with DWTS you never know.

The culmination of the show was a Swing Dance marathon.  It looked to me like the couples ran out of time to practice for this.  Even though it was expected to be less tightly choreographed and more spontaneous, everything looked too willy-nilly.  Some of the stars spent an awkward number of beats kind of standing there like the didn’t know what to do.  Kind of like me in high school Modern Dance class.  Of course I think Evan and Anna were tapped out too soon.  When the final two were standing it was fun to watch them.  Erin and Maks versus Nicole and Derek.  I wished there had been a few more seconds to watch the final two battle it out.  Nicole and Derek surprised me by being my favorites this time around.  They were fun and dynamic to watch. 

Tonight I am going to enjoy the results show and work on my snarky attitude.


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